hellos&goodbyees .

arr, my hand hurts so much!]: & my toe-nail is peeling off from my flesh, OUCHS! i can't stand the pain so i pushed my toe-nail in, laughs^^
iam a 'HANDICAPPED' now, incapable of doing anything]-: went to court tdy, court post-pone again to 7th oct. feeling so stressed-up, the feelings sux to the cord man! what's the programme for tonight, iam feeling so down & lonely. i need acc tonight, who's going to be the best pal to acc me? hahahahaha... [:
everyone seems to be so busy with their things ah, neglecting me le lar!! ytd went to see a doctor for my hand. haha[-: the doctor asked me if i want to have an injection to cure the pain & also to stitch up my wound. of course my answer is no, not gona waste those money. 'NAH NAH NAH'! & even do stitches le also won't seems to make the scar gone, so what for? trying to make me waste my money ah, or rather iam the stupid one making my ownself waste those money. when i see the scar opened-up, my reaction was 'SONG'. aft tt it came the stupid pain, OUCH OUCH OUCH! but i know nth is much more painful than the pain in my heart]: heal me pls...
bored, will update again when i've things to. byebye peepos!

wrote it with all my <3 , 28 September 2009 7:12:00 PM

MY DEAREST 'XINGAN' & ME AT CLUB BBR DE TOILET. LAUGHS^^

wrote it with all my <3 , 7:09:00 PM

will be going court tmr, 'GOD BLESS ME'! & iam a handicapped nw due to my foolish act, bt i don't regret bcze it easened the pain in my heart & made me wake up more to know tt you're really gone forever. BYEBYE!)-:

wrote it with all my <3 , 12:13:00 AM

photos with huiwen on 5th of sep at 'NEVERLAND' thai disco[:

IAM FEELING SO LAZY TO BLOG!!]-:

wrote it with all my <3 , 21 September 2009 6:55:00 PM

went reporting tdy, results from my officer didn't seems vr gd. ppl, date me out asap)-: tdy when reporting, saw the sadness on daddy's face & tears flowing in his eyes made me felt so heart broken-ed. really damn heart broken-ed. i do love my DADDY & MUMMY lots! & i miss him muchs, it had been 3days le.. & it's only 11 more days to my next court, iam really SICK & TIRED of going to court. he's my strength, my support for everything & only he cld bring a smile back on my face & eased my pain. now, everything's gone. i rather everything stayed the same & nth changes. SILLY, SILLY, SILLY!
somebody pls give me ffffffffffffvvvvvvvvvvveeeeeeeeeee or kkkkkkiiiiiiitkaattttttt!!!): down with a flu again, OHMYTIAN! when then am i going to have a healthy health back? ppl're all so worried, sry to my dearest daddy, mummy, ms chen, baolin, jaslin sis, baby, jason, lionel, ah hao, melvin, chester, sky & etc.. real sorry to made all of you worried. if worst comes to worst, i can only choose to face it issit? why can't i be running from reality, reality is so cruel!! KILL ME pls! & what comes to my mind now is 080309, the day which my baby brought me to zoo, arcade play games & sent me back home due to my tagging tt time): i noticed now what i need most is care & concern from ppl ard me.. i know most ppl are making time out for me, thanks peeps. you guys are my best drugs now! still there're still those fews not giving up on me & continue staying by my side to go thru all this with me. some are even hiring lawyer for me, thanks alot. have been trying so hard to carry a stupid fake smile on my face, damn sickening!
GIVE ME A BREAK, IAM BREAKING DOWN))))):::::

wrote it with all my <3 , 17 September 2009 6:35:00 PM

my mood is damn unstable now. i need & miss you badly, you're my strength for me to carry on)-: but i knew things couldn't be back to the same anymore!! i needed someone to be by my side to coach me & lead me back to the right path pls, iam getting from bad to worst. luckily my dearest baolin called me up ytd & gave me encouragement, talk to me & get my mood abit back to the right track. my mind is going hay-wire now, i'll resort to ending everything now. nth is worth me staying back in this world anymore, iam really SICK & TIRED! who'll understand me, who'll not give up on me, who'll nv abandon me? even daddy & mummy is so disapointed with me nw, they don't even bother to talk to me): they said they didn't want me anymore, i asked them again & they said is me who dosen't want them. i didn't, really didn't! everything was actually getting on the right path, but now i've gone down-right rotten..
everytime when i want to end everything, daddy & mummy is what i thought of. if i were to leave like this, won't they be hurt, be sad, go crazy? where's the daddy tt dote on me so much, where's the happy family tt i once had? i destroyed it myself. i've given up totally on myself, someone pls tell me you won't give up on me. now i just wished to drink, drink, drink until vomit more blood, nose bleed more & die.
if only i were still a child, everything will seems to be more easier. why bring me to this world, then throw me aside? i love my parents now & i hope this person iam talking abt will nv nv appear in my life forever. every child is a giving's from god. but i felt so abandoned!)-: seeing everyone from crazy 8 leading their life so well, why can't i be the same? issit i don't want or i can't do it? iam so addicted to drinking, sssmkkkkking, fffffveeeeee now. how, how, how? what shld i do? someone tell me pls):
P/S: daddy & mummy, iam so sorry to brk ur heart. i know you guys don't feel any better than me, i know you all feel hurt too. i'd rather you all beat me, throw me out of the hse then keeping quiet & suffer the pain in ur heart. do you all know tt i feel pain too, do you all know tt i also do have feelings althu everytime i appear as if i don't care but iam crying deep down in my heart!):
END EVERYTHING FAST PLS! 難過懶的再去管...

wrote it with all my <3 , 16 September 2009 4:55:00 PM

pics with my dearest sis, bro-in-law & me myself(:

wrote it with all my <3 , 4:37:00 PM

haha(: ytd programme so packed again. laughs^^ firstly, i went over to club bubberry tt boring place again with my dearest minghui. waited down there for jason, baby & alicia. drink, drink & drink(-: aft tt headed over to club rachatda with baby & alicia to meet-up with jinli, qitong & co. not long, baby & alicia left. so me, jinli, qitong & co headed over to 'NEVERLAND' to wait for tianxiang & knew what, i saw eunice & elva there. haha(: been such a long time since i last saw them! aft 'NEVERLAND', programme still not end, headed over to somewhere don't know where eat 'BAK KUT TEH' & then headed over to boat quay 'RAV' again with jinli, qitong, tianxiang & co. drink, drink, drink again. the most happy thing was i got my 'sweets' & 'kkkkkkit'. LAUGHS^^
stupid me, enough of all tt man. iam getting more & more paranoid. OMG, tdy woke up thought my thing went missing. called daddy & mummy scolded them, end up i kept my things in the drawer. GOD-DAMN it. stupid me, getting all so paranoid. tired, tired. haven't been getting enough slp for this past few days, guess iam dying soon from tiredness. YAWNS, back to slp awhile. will be back to post some other time, night peeps!(:

wrote it with all my <3 , 10 September 2009 5:59:00 PM

08sep
woo, such a fun day tdy. haha(: went to club bubberry, it was so fucking bored over there, aft tt headed over to boat quay 'SPEED LEGEND' meet tianxiang & co. aft tt programme was endless, headed over to oasis & met up with jinli. then i went over to kallang bahru meet-up with one of my friend & headed back to boat quay 'RAV' alone to meet-up with tianxiang & jinli again. laughs^^ drink all the way till morning 8plus. yawns, such a tiring day. & best of all was i had enough of 'KKKKKKKKKIT'. teehees^^
thanks guys for acc'ing me all the way. nevertheless, not throwing me alone(:

wrote it with all my <3 , 5:56:00 PM

my heart felt so pain, it had been such a long time since i last dropped my tears. why am i putting on a strong front? in my heart i felt hurt, felt unwanted, felt as if noone cares but why do i hide my tears)': i guess it was just bcze i don't want ppl who cares abt me to worry ba..
i always know tt love is unfair & nth is fair in this reality world! heath is deteoriating & court date is reaching, really don't know what the outcome will be but i do hope ppl i know will tkcare of themselves(: when will i leave this world, so sick & tired of everything. 心动心痛, 說好的幸福呢? if only everything can end, how gd it can be. i know iam always being foolish, why can't i stop my foolish-ness): silly silly silly me! feifei, all of a sudden i miss you so much. things changes every sec, every min, every hr, everyday, every wk, every mth & every yr..
FUCKKKKKKK EVERYTHINGGGGGGG!!!)-:

wrote it with all my <3 , 07 September 2009 7:56:00 PM

yawns, so tired! just woke up, & iam feeling so lazy to get up but no choice have to force myself wake up as the programme for tonight is 'NEVERLAND'(: so happy, finally thai disco again(= it had been like so long i nv went to thai disco. now i only go almost 1-2 times in a wk only, notice the changes than before? laughs^^ i felt so much like a fool in front of you, i promise i won't anymore! why shld i made myself unhappy, i shld be thinking of ways to stay happy.. silly me! well, will be back to post again. be back to watch my show & gotta go prepare(: bb peeps!

wrote it with all my <3 , 05 September 2009 7:10:00 PM

grr, there comes the stupid problem of blogging again. i can't upload photo again man, WTH?!
was back home only early in the morning 10plus, so so so TIRED!): opened 12bottles of 'TIGER' ytd, drink & drank but ytd iam not drunk. can you imagine the feeling of not getting drunk but got hang-over? having such a terrible headache now. will be going to drink again tonight, see you MR. TH! thanks for acc'ing me when my mood is low, much appreciated. haha(:

-WE MANAGED TO CONTACT BACK AGAIN(-:
-BUT THINGS ISN'T GD FOR YOU LIKE I WISHED FOR)-:

wrote it with all my <3 , 04 September 2009 2:17:00 PM

by concidence, i spotted this & managed to snapped it down(: miss him still as much as before. i felt so bored at home can, rotting.. hmm, will be back to post again. back to watch my show. byebye!^^

wrote it with all my <3 , 03 September 2009 1:44:00 PM

haha(: all the overdues pics at bangkok & neverland with my dearest sister! loves..

wrote it with all my <3 , 1:28:00 PM

-I MISS TT SOMEBODY SO MUCH NOW, WHY?
-I KEPT THINKING HOW HE'VE BEEN, WHAT HE'S DOING?
-I KEPT HOPING EVERYTHING'S GOING FINE FOR HIM.
-I HOPED HE'LL BE LOVED MUCH BY HIS LOVED ONES.
-I HOPED HE WON'T KEEP GETTING SICK.
-I PRAYED TT HE'LL ALWAYS HAVE GD HEALTH.
-I WISHED SO MUCH TT I CAN GET TO SEE HIM SOON)':
-I WISHED TT I'VE NV FELL IN LOVE WITH HIM!

那一扇车门
关出我们的裂痕
一声就震断了回头的路程

爱无法均分
以后就留给你们
也许用伤害结束爱才更动人

容忍的人其实并不笨
只是宁可对自己残忍
既然爱不能恒温
祝福就给你下一个人

你是好人也是个坏人
对我坦承只为了朝他狂奔
不能放任所以放了
这点痛我还能忍
我是好人也是个坏人
分得够狠你才有借口转身
宁愿爱一点不剩
也不忍看恋人爱成路人

三个人从不对等
总有个人必须牺牲
那永恒就等他带你完成

宁愿爱一点不剩
也不忍看恋人爱成路人..

things ain't gd, my heart felt so empty!)':
BYCT...

wrote it with all my <3 , 02 September 2009 9:46:00 PM

如果不小心伤害了你
你不要太伤心
因为我真的不是故意
让你受委屈
既然相爱了那么久
不能就这样分手
因为我们的爱来之不易
我真的不想放弃
Baby So Sorry
Baby 别伤心
我依然爱着你想着你
别离去没有你的日子真的好空虚
Baby 在一起
Baby 别哭泣
我依然疼着你念着你
我的心永远属于你

原谅我这一次
我真的,好想你
不管你离我多么遥远
我会一直等着你!

another 77days you'll be coming out le. counting down to my court date, tt's another 12days left)': really wish nth will happen to me, if things are really going to happen to me, i do hope i can get to see you the last time but i know it's impossible. when you know the changes in me now, perhaps you'll no longer love the yuting now. no matter what we'll be in the future i hope you'll lead a gd life.
nights nights!(:

wrote it with all my <3 , 3:47:00 AM