my mood is damn unstable now. i need & miss you badly, you're my strength for me to carry on)-: but i knew things couldn't be back to the same anymore!! i needed someone to be by my side to coach me & lead me back to the right path pls, iam getting from bad to worst. luckily my dearest baolin called me up ytd & gave me encouragement, talk to me & get my mood abit back to the right track. my mind is going hay-wire now, i'll resort to ending everything now. nth is worth me staying back in this world anymore, iam really SICK & TIRED! who'll understand me, who'll not give up on me, who'll nv abandon me? even daddy & mummy is so disapointed with me nw, they don't even bother to talk to me): they said they didn't want me anymore, i asked them again & they said is me who dosen't want them. i didn't, really didn't! everything was actually getting on the right path, but now i've gone down-right rotten..
everytime when i want to end everything, daddy & mummy is what i thought of. if i were to leave like this, won't they be hurt, be sad, go crazy? where's the daddy tt dote on me so much, where's the happy family tt i once had? i destroyed it myself. i've given up totally on myself, someone pls tell me you won't give up on me. now i just wished to drink, drink, drink until vomit more blood, nose bleed more & die.
if only i were still a child, everything will seems to be more easier. why bring me to this world, then throw me aside? i love my parents now & i hope this person iam talking abt will nv nv appear in my life forever. every child is a giving's from god. but i felt so abandoned!)-: seeing everyone from crazy 8 leading their life so well, why can't i be the same? issit i don't want or i can't do it? iam so addicted to drinking, sssmkkkkking, fffffveeeeee now. how, how, how? what shld i do? someone tell me pls):
P/S: daddy & mummy, iam so sorry to brk ur heart. i know you guys don't feel any better than me, i know you all feel hurt too. i'd rather you all beat me, throw me out of the hse then keeping quiet & suffer the pain in ur heart. do you all know tt i feel pain too, do you all know tt i also do have feelings althu everytime i appear as if i don't care but iam crying deep down in my heart!):
END EVERYTHING FAST PLS! 難過懶的再去管...